My wife and I love to entertain in our home. A lot can be said for having friends over: you save money on food, you control the volume of the environment and if someone gets too drunk, they can sleep it off in your living room.
The most important part of entertaining though is being a good host. Being a good host is much more than making sure everyone has a frosty beverage or a tour of the abode, you must make your guests feel comfortable. Many times I have visited a friend's home and could not wait until 9:00 when I felt it was safe to make my goodbyes. Other times I felt so comfortable I almost took off my shoes and laid down on the couch.
I have found one thing to be the deciding factor when it comes to determining what kind of experience I will have and that is the greeting I receive from the host(s). I make it a point when people come into my home to approach them. Unless I have my hands full putting out a fire, I walk up to my guests and welcome them. You make a couple of seconds of small talk, shake hands, kiss cheeks and introduce them to the others. You make sure that they have a comfortable environment to walk into. Nothing bothers me more than having to find the host and than wade, on my own, through a sea of strangers.
Remember the next time you have a party in your castle to APPROACH and GREET all guests. You have to be the port in the storm for the people that do not know anyone. You make get stuck in the corner talking to the guy that has seen Lord of the Rings 54 times, but that is the price you pay for making people happy in your home.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
LISTEN TO ME!
I just recently started a new job and officially work with the weirdest guy ever. Unfortunately he is the guy training me to do my job. The other day I was discussing a problem that I was having and he started "practicing his golf swing". He really got into it. He methodically set his hands around the phantom club, bent his knees and wiggled his hips. I kind of got the impression that I was not getting his full attention. Although he was answering my questions, I could not get past the rudeness of the situation.
After a moment of his Tiger Woods emulation, I opted to practice my "batting". I picked the imaginary bat that was right for me. I set it properly in my hands when I remembered my old coaches advice about "choking up". I assumed my correct right handers stance and swung away.
My fellow workers began to snicker at he and I having a conversation while practicing our respective sports. After about 2 minutes, he looked up and asked what the hell I was doing. He could not comprehend that I was just using our time to practice as well.
After we finished, he walked away. My supervisor approached me with a grin on his face and said our office Fred Couples has never played golf a day in his life. Are you kidding me? What kind of f-ing weirdo does that? It takes all kinds I guess, but I think Ferris Bueller said it best with, "it's understanding that helps people like me tolerate people like yourself".
After a moment of his Tiger Woods emulation, I opted to practice my "batting". I picked the imaginary bat that was right for me. I set it properly in my hands when I remembered my old coaches advice about "choking up". I assumed my correct right handers stance and swung away.
My fellow workers began to snicker at he and I having a conversation while practicing our respective sports. After about 2 minutes, he looked up and asked what the hell I was doing. He could not comprehend that I was just using our time to practice as well.
After we finished, he walked away. My supervisor approached me with a grin on his face and said our office Fred Couples has never played golf a day in his life. Are you kidding me? What kind of f-ing weirdo does that? It takes all kinds I guess, but I think Ferris Bueller said it best with, "it's understanding that helps people like me tolerate people like yourself".
Monday, February 28, 2011
Honoring the Wrong Heroes
February 27, 2011 saw the death of 110 year old Frank Buckles. Mr. Buckles had the dubious distinction of being the last surviving American veteran of World War I. He lied about his age and joined the U.S. Army to go fight the Germans in France. After the war, he got a job with a shipping company and lived in the Philippines. In 1942 he was taken prisoner by the Japanese and spent 3 years as a prisoner of war.
Almost 100 years ago, we had Americans lying about their age to go fight for their country. In World War II, people often committed suicide when told they were not medically eligible to join the service. In Vietnam they happily burned the flag and skipped over the border to Canada. Today Americans speak of our country as if it were a dirty word.
How did we make this 180 degree turn in such a seemingly short while? I think it is a matter of priorities. Most people know nothing about Medal of Honor winners like Lt. Michael Murphy or Sgt. Salvatore Giunta, but they can tell you why Lindsay Lohan is in trouble again. Most people cannot tell you who we are fighting in Afghanistan, but they can tell you if they are on Team Angelina or Team Jennifer and why.
We no longer honor the people that protect us and our rights and that puzzles me. This is no longer a society of people that put their lives on hold to step into harms way and fight. We are a nation of people that happily sit back and say, "let somebody else go, I'm too important". I am not a veteran of the military and for that I am greatly ashamed, but I will give my respect to every last person that wears the uniform or our country. Despite what anyone says, this is the greatest country in the world only because of the men and women who fight for us.
Almost 100 years ago, we had Americans lying about their age to go fight for their country. In World War II, people often committed suicide when told they were not medically eligible to join the service. In Vietnam they happily burned the flag and skipped over the border to Canada. Today Americans speak of our country as if it were a dirty word.
How did we make this 180 degree turn in such a seemingly short while? I think it is a matter of priorities. Most people know nothing about Medal of Honor winners like Lt. Michael Murphy or Sgt. Salvatore Giunta, but they can tell you why Lindsay Lohan is in trouble again. Most people cannot tell you who we are fighting in Afghanistan, but they can tell you if they are on Team Angelina or Team Jennifer and why.
We no longer honor the people that protect us and our rights and that puzzles me. This is no longer a society of people that put their lives on hold to step into harms way and fight. We are a nation of people that happily sit back and say, "let somebody else go, I'm too important". I am not a veteran of the military and for that I am greatly ashamed, but I will give my respect to every last person that wears the uniform or our country. Despite what anyone says, this is the greatest country in the world only because of the men and women who fight for us.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Screw Fences, Good Neighbors Make Good Neighbors.
As I drive through my neighborhood, I realize that I have a small number of neighbors that I associate with. These are the neighbors that help me carry an old water heater to the curb on trash day or the ones who knock on my door to let me know the dog is out. The rest of my neighbors are strangers. They typically answer my friendly waves with a scowl. When did we come to this point? When I was a kid, my grandparents knew most of the people on their block. Now we are all strangers.
The worst part about not knowing your neighbors is not only that you do not know who to turn to in a crisis, it is the way people lack consideration. People speed where children are playing. They park their cars in the middle of the road. They do not sweep up their grass clippings. The reason is that they feel nobody will criticize a stranger. Nobody will knock on their door and say, "Hi, I'm Nick from next door. Your dog crapped in my yard. Come pick it up!".
It works the other way too. We notice someone down the street needs to paint their house and mow their yard. Instead of striking up a friendly conversation, we call the Home Owner's Association. We may have just dropped the dime on a poor widow or a man that has terminal cancer.
After a recent natural disaster, my neighborhood was without power for days. It was hot and boring inside, so we all went outside. Neighbor helped neighbor cut down trees and clean up yards. Neighbors shared beers and food that would spoil without refrigeration. We were not just neighbors at that point, we were friends. When the power came back on, we all retreated inside and have hardly spoke since.
The next time you are outside cutting your grass (or paying the guy that cuts your grass) and you see a neighbor, take a minute to walk over and say hi. It really sucks in a time of need to walk up to a stranger and say, "help".
The worst part about not knowing your neighbors is not only that you do not know who to turn to in a crisis, it is the way people lack consideration. People speed where children are playing. They park their cars in the middle of the road. They do not sweep up their grass clippings. The reason is that they feel nobody will criticize a stranger. Nobody will knock on their door and say, "Hi, I'm Nick from next door. Your dog crapped in my yard. Come pick it up!".
It works the other way too. We notice someone down the street needs to paint their house and mow their yard. Instead of striking up a friendly conversation, we call the Home Owner's Association. We may have just dropped the dime on a poor widow or a man that has terminal cancer.
After a recent natural disaster, my neighborhood was without power for days. It was hot and boring inside, so we all went outside. Neighbor helped neighbor cut down trees and clean up yards. Neighbors shared beers and food that would spoil without refrigeration. We were not just neighbors at that point, we were friends. When the power came back on, we all retreated inside and have hardly spoke since.
The next time you are outside cutting your grass (or paying the guy that cuts your grass) and you see a neighbor, take a minute to walk over and say hi. It really sucks in a time of need to walk up to a stranger and say, "help".
Monday, February 21, 2011
Women's Shows Are Stupid
Look, we can all agree that women watch stupid stuff. Women like to watch "reality TV" as long as it is not very realistic. Sitting on the couch watching The Bachelor, I have realized that my wife is buying into this crap. They think it is so romantic. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I've got an idea for a new version of the Bachelor. You get 20 hot women into a room and let "the Bachelor" walk in. The bachelor is Jeffrey, a 35 year old bow-legged hairlip who pronounces his name Jeffy. If these girls get the rose, they are stuck with him. I can guarantee you they will not be fighting for his rose.
Women are way more shallow than they like to let on. You ask a beautiful woman what she looks for in a man, she'll say a sense of humor. LIARS! I have a keen sense of humor, but it it does not attract women. You know what women really like? Expensive cars. When is the last time you saw an attractive woman riding in the passenger seat of a Kia? That is right. NEVER!
I have spent the last 6 years of my life trying to show my wife that nobody's life mirrors The Notebook. Instead it is more of a delicate balance between Married, With Children and the Cosby Show. The next time you ladies are crying over the TV and wishing you would have married the bachelor, think about that guy you did marry. The guy that thinks you are beautiful when you wake up in the morning. The guy that brings you toilet paper when you come up empty on the toilet. Think about that guy that went out in the rain to get you a cheeseburger when you were pregnant. That is the perfect man for you. Unless you are totally shallow, than you should have gone for the guy with a ton of money and a badass car.
Women are way more shallow than they like to let on. You ask a beautiful woman what she looks for in a man, she'll say a sense of humor. LIARS! I have a keen sense of humor, but it it does not attract women. You know what women really like? Expensive cars. When is the last time you saw an attractive woman riding in the passenger seat of a Kia? That is right. NEVER!
I have spent the last 6 years of my life trying to show my wife that nobody's life mirrors The Notebook. Instead it is more of a delicate balance between Married, With Children and the Cosby Show. The next time you ladies are crying over the TV and wishing you would have married the bachelor, think about that guy you did marry. The guy that thinks you are beautiful when you wake up in the morning. The guy that brings you toilet paper when you come up empty on the toilet. Think about that guy that went out in the rain to get you a cheeseburger when you were pregnant. That is the perfect man for you. Unless you are totally shallow, than you should have gone for the guy with a ton of money and a badass car.
Sit back, SHUT UP and enjoy the show
What in the hell is wrong with people? Why is it when I go to a movie, there is somebody who drives me f*cking NUTS? Most people do not talk anymore (unless you go to a horror movie with African American women (you know it is true)), but they check their cell phones (I am guilty of that one) and they do other weird stuff.
The other night I took my lovely bride to a movie. The guys sitting next to her took off his watch and tapped it against his arm rest incessantly. Even though this jackhole was being rude, I felt I had no right to say anything. I spent $18 on tickets, bought popcorn and sodas and I felt I had no right to tell this moron to shut up. I did feel that I had the right to sit in the dark theater and stare daggers at his stupid face. Eventually he quit, probably because my Jedi mind skills warmed up and he got the message.
When you are in the theater, remember that you are not at home. Do not jiggle your keys! Do not tap your foot! Do not yawn loud! And ladies, DON'T FART!
The other night I took my lovely bride to a movie. The guys sitting next to her took off his watch and tapped it against his arm rest incessantly. Even though this jackhole was being rude, I felt I had no right to say anything. I spent $18 on tickets, bought popcorn and sodas and I felt I had no right to tell this moron to shut up. I did feel that I had the right to sit in the dark theater and stare daggers at his stupid face. Eventually he quit, probably because my Jedi mind skills warmed up and he got the message.
When you are in the theater, remember that you are not at home. Do not jiggle your keys! Do not tap your foot! Do not yawn loud! And ladies, DON'T FART!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Screw Sharing
We always promote sharing to our children. "Let you brother play with that car", "Give your sister a bite of your ice cream". As adults though, we often do not follow that advice. I know I do not. I am willing to share almost anything, but there are some things that are MINE! I would never let anyone wear my Hamilton watch that my beautiful wife gave me for our third anniversary. I would never let anyone carry my Springfield Armory 1911 Pistol. Most importantly though, I would never let anyone covet my wife. If we are not willing to share EVERYTHING, how can we expect the same from our kids?
My oldest son has a collection of cars that are his pride and joy. He is very careful with them and does not like anybody to disturb them. His little brother always wants to play with, but he treats them like a rental car. He gets them muddy, throws them on the concrete and shows them no respect. Number 1 son refuses to let Dos play with them. I used to make them share, but not anymore. I have realized that those cars are my sons most prized possessions and I will not make him put them at risk.
I am not saying that they do not have to share, but do they have to share everything? Some things are special. Some things have sentiment to them and you want to take care of it. I enjoy seeing that my son has something that he cares about and wishes to preserve. It is an indication that someday he will appreciate what he has. Maybe he will take care of his first car when he turns 16. Maybe he will take care of his house when he buys one. It forms an understanding that you take care of your stuff. It reminds me of the old cavalry saying, "take care of your horse and your horse will take care of you".
The next time your kids are fighting over toys, do not just start yelling for them to share, take into consideration what they are fighting over. It may seem like nothing to you, but it could be that one item that your child truly cherishes.
My oldest son has a collection of cars that are his pride and joy. He is very careful with them and does not like anybody to disturb them. His little brother always wants to play with, but he treats them like a rental car. He gets them muddy, throws them on the concrete and shows them no respect. Number 1 son refuses to let Dos play with them. I used to make them share, but not anymore. I have realized that those cars are my sons most prized possessions and I will not make him put them at risk.
I am not saying that they do not have to share, but do they have to share everything? Some things are special. Some things have sentiment to them and you want to take care of it. I enjoy seeing that my son has something that he cares about and wishes to preserve. It is an indication that someday he will appreciate what he has. Maybe he will take care of his first car when he turns 16. Maybe he will take care of his house when he buys one. It forms an understanding that you take care of your stuff. It reminds me of the old cavalry saying, "take care of your horse and your horse will take care of you".
The next time your kids are fighting over toys, do not just start yelling for them to share, take into consideration what they are fighting over. It may seem like nothing to you, but it could be that one item that your child truly cherishes.
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