What in the hell is wrong with people? Why is it when I go to a movie, there is somebody who drives me f*cking NUTS? Most people do not talk anymore (unless you go to a horror movie with African American women (you know it is true)), but they check their cell phones (I am guilty of that one) and they do other weird stuff.
The other night I took my lovely bride to a movie. The guys sitting next to her took off his watch and tapped it against his arm rest incessantly. Even though this jackhole was being rude, I felt I had no right to say anything. I spent $18 on tickets, bought popcorn and sodas and I felt I had no right to tell this moron to shut up. I did feel that I had the right to sit in the dark theater and stare daggers at his stupid face. Eventually he quit, probably because my Jedi mind skills warmed up and he got the message.
When you are in the theater, remember that you are not at home. Do not jiggle your keys! Do not tap your foot! Do not yawn loud! And ladies, DON'T FART!
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